Free of Guilt and The Diary of Sarah Page
by Cehsja
Summary: Two Stories in One: 1. Free of Guilt Oneshot: "Sometimes the connection between friends can survive the sea of time and pain, whether they'll ever know it or not." and 2. The Diary of Sarah Page: A 3-chapter story that is so closely related to the Free of Guilt one shot that I'm posting it together to make sure you read Free of Guilt first. (A Sarah/Danny/Becker/Jess Story)
1. Free of Guilt

Sometimes they thought their jet black hair was the only thing they had in common, but there was also the fact that they'd been hired on the same day. Regardless of their differences, Sarah and Becker had become fast friends, and they were more alike than they knew.

They'd been the newbies at the same time, and they'd bonded because of it. They'd shared their observations about the other team members, and then they'd shared pizza and drinks. They never could agree on the flavour. They also shared secrets. They both found the other person easy to trust.

At one point they spent enough time together that Abby asked if they were dating. They'd laughed and denied it and Becker had smartly kept his mouth shut about Sarah's date with Danny the night before. They were friends, plain and simple, and they were both content with that.

Nowadays they had something else in common though. Nowadays they shared their guilt. Only this time they didn't know it.

* * *

"Becker! Becker!" The voice calling him was distant and echoing, lost behind a pane of windshield glass, lost behind the emotions clouding him, and the sea of time that had swept them by. Becker woke up in a cold sweat from the dream that had haunted him for the last two years. A nightmare made a thousand times worse by the fact that it was true.

Sarah had died on the fourth excursion out. She shouldn't have been there, and it was his fault. He should've told her no. He should've made her stay back, but she was as stubborn as he was and that was something else they'd had in common.

He knew when he saw the future predator attacking the car she was in that she'd have no chance. He could try to save her, but it wouldn't do anything but get them both killed. If there weren't so many other people depending on him he'd have preferred to die with her, really. The creature growled and snarled and the screaming stopped. From where he stood he could see the flesh and blood being tossed into the air. And then the guilt overwhelmed him and he'd turned away, unable to watch.

* * *

It'd been too late. Her panicked shouts to Becker had attracted the future predator to them. There'd been nothing she could do and she knew that if she shouted again, it'd find her too. So she'd stayed quiet as the scene played out in front her. The creature had leapt at them and from where she hid she could see, smell even, the blood and the fresh flesh being ripped open. And then the guilt had overwhelmed her and she'd turned away, unable to watch.

Sarah woke in a cold sweat from the nightmare that had haunted her for years, made worse because it was true. She'd never forget the events of that day, and she was the only person alive that knew the full story. She glanced around at her surroundings and sighed. It was possible that she was only person alive at all.

When she'd hid from the future predator in that car, she'd been stunned to find him. The boy beside her couldn't have been older than seventeen. She didn't know how he'd gotten there, or if he lived in this desolate future world, but she knew that they had to get him out of there. She called for Becker to help her and realised her mistake a moment too late. The boy's wide and panicked eyes had told her that he knew it too. He still hadn't said a word. And then the creature had been on them and she'd panicked further. She'd rolled into the backseat while the creature was distracted trying to get into the vehicle. The boy seemed to be frozen in fear.

She'd hid. She hadn't saved him. She couldn't have saved him, but she could have tried. She could've died with him. Instead she'd hid. She wasn't a trained soldier, she was an archaeologist. It'd never been part of her job description to risk her life for another, especially when she couldn't save either of them. Looking back, she realised that in her panic she would have hid even if she could have saved the boy with her own life, because all other senses other than the one telling her to survive had failed. She wiped her tears but they continued to fall. She should have listened to Becker, he'd told her not to come on the mission and the boy was dead because of her. She never had learned his name.

After realising she wasn't going to get back to sleep, Sarah finally got up and began to write in her journal, detailing her story in the off chance that someday someone would find it. It was something she'd always rather hoped for. As an archaeologist, she'd always loved uncovering ancient diaries and histories revealing the true lives of the people living in that time period. It might be silly, but she'd always kept a journal herself, wondering if someone might read it hundreds of years from now.

If there were people left to read it. She hadn't ever made it home from this place. When the horror of the attack had been over, Becker had been gone and the anomaly had been locked. She waited for them to come back, but they never did and eventually the anomaly had closed altogether. She was stuck. She'd thought then that she was as good as dead anyway, and she'd almost have welcomed death, but somehow she'd survived. She'd remained as quiet as a mouse, and eventually she'd learned to find underground shelters stocked with food and water.

Sometimes the shelters showed signs of a hurried escape, and these were the best kind because food and little jars of fresh water remained untouched for her benefit. When she ran out, she'd go in search of another. Sometimes the shelters she found had been abandoned because they'd run out of stores. These ones gave her protection for the night, but if she didn't want to starve she always had to move on quickly.

And yet all the shelters showed signs of human life. Recent human life. So far she hadn't found any herself, but it seemed that somewhere people _were _living still in the dark underground tunnels. It became her focus, her hope, and her one goal to eventually find them. More than anything, she was lonely.

* * *

Three years now. That's how long Sarah'd lived in the future for. That's how long it'd been since she'd had a shower. That's how long it'd been since she'd seen a human soul, and that's when it happened. It took her a long time to react. She felt it first more than anything. The pen she was writing with started to tug away from her hand, and at first she was confused. Then the mobile beside her, the one that hadn't worked since she'd stepped into this time but which she always kept with her because it was a little piece of home, suddenly lifted into the air of its own accord and shot away from her. It was too bizarre for her to even register that this was wrong and out of the normal. She leapt for it and realised that the room was brighter than before. It must have been a trick of her mind telling her what she should be seeing instead of what she was, because a minute or two went by before she realised that she was standing directly in front of the anomaly.

And then she'd smiled and darted through.

She didn't find home on the other side. In fact, she didn't find anything at first as she collided headfirst with someone running through on the other end.

Danny looked as shocked to see her as she was him.

"Ow," she said, rubbing her head, too overwhelmed for anything else and not entirely sure this was real yet.

Danny seemed to react quicker than she did, instantly pulling her into his arms and asking if she was okay and telling her how good it was to see her and letting his tears flow freely.

She nodded back toward the anomaly, "Not that one, Danny. It doesn't go home. It's worse than any place you can imagine. The future."

Danny shrugged and didn't say anything for a moment as they clung to each other. Neither were sure how much time had passed but they both suddenly started speaking at once.

_They_ were back, Danny assured Sarah. He'd been back, once, himself and seen them there. Connor and Abby were safe and at home. He'd gone back through after his brother who had eventually been eaten by a creature. Now he'd been stuck here alone again. He wasn't even sure where here was. It didn't matter now that Sarah was with him.

Sarah told him her story, how she'd come looking for them, for _him,_ and what had happened. Then they'd fallen silent again, tears flowing, arms clinging, their eyes speaking the volumes that neither had words for. Sarah wouldn't ever remember who moved first, would never remember how the slow, desperate kiss began. She only knew they'd been kissing for awhile before she realised it, and before she remembered the danger behind the anomaly they sat beside. She broke it off first, reluctantly, and they moved from the area to the tree fort that Danny was living in.

There were dinosaurs here, he informed her, but nothing he couldn't handle and there weren't many of them. There was growing fruit, a stream with fish, and it didn't get too cold at night. Sarah thought it sounded like paradise and suddenly it didn't matter if she ever made it back or not.

* * *

Something had changed. The dreams, when he had them, didn't give him the same cold chill that they had before, Becker realised. He didn't know why, he didn't understand it, because everything logical told him that Sarah's death should always be just as horrifying as it had been the day it happened. They'd been so close before that they'd started to sense when something was wrong with the other, and when everything was okay.

And now suddenly as he replayed the scene in his mind, he felt at peace with it. But how was that possible? How could she suddenly be okay three years after her death? The thought puzzled him and he wondered if it had anything to do with the gentle words that a certain field co-ordinator named Jessica had been drilling into his head for years. Words of encouragement, two and a half years of her telling him that it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't to blame, and that she was glad he hadn't died because she and the rest of the team needed him. Whatever the reason, the peace he felt was enough to bring a smile to his face as he slept deeply for the rest of the night. Maybe tomorrow he'd get up the nerves to ask Jess out and thank her.


	2. The Diary of Sarah Page Chapter 1

**A/N Free of Guilt is the One-Shot. This is Chapter 1/3 of "The Diary of Sarah Page" but the two stories are so closely linked that, even though they are not the same story, you really need to read the one-shot Free of Guilt first, which is why I'm joining it on here as one story document. Hope you enjoy.**

Becker stared at his alarm clock in confusion as he read the time on it: 3:45am. Why the hell was the blasted thing waking him up at such an unearthly hour? It took a moment for the sleepiness to fade enough that he realised it wasn't his alarm clock that had woken him up at all. Rather it was someone hanging on the doorbell. Who on earth? He slowly made his way out of bed and slipped his robe over his pyjamas before making his way downstairs to make the person on the other side of the door shut up, and if it was Temple he was going to EMD him.

It wasn't. Rather it was a giddy looking Jessica Parker and all Becker's annoyance fled his mind immediately.

"Jess! What on earth?! You're soaked!"

"It's raining," she replied matter-of-factly, pushing past him to step inside. Then she blushed at her forwardness and seemed to suddenly notice Becker's attire. "Oh gosh, Becker! I'm sorry, were you asleep already?"

Becker shut the door and gave her a puzzled look. "_Already_? Jess, it's almost four in the morning!"

"It…" she hesitated, his words registering slowly. "Is it really?"

"Jess, what are you doing here?" His voice was stern, but he wasn't angry, couldn't be angry at _her. _

"I-I didn't realise it was so late. Sorry. I should go." Her face was bright red by now and Becker was more than a little amused by the fact.

"No, you may as well stay now, Jess. I'll make you some tea and _you _can come tell me why you're here, because I'm guessing you didn't show up on my doorstep to ask what time it was."

She giggled a bit, clearly tired but too excited about something to care. "I was caught up reading, you see," she said as she followed him eagerly into the kitchen, "and I must have lost track of time. I wanted to get the book to you right away so you could read it and I was so excited that I forgot to look at the clock. I am sorry."

"It's fine, stop apologizing. You came here to lend me a _book?_"

"I tracked it down you know, went through all the official channels and all that when I heard about the discovery on the news. Lester helped me get a hold of it and we planted a story about how it was a fake after all. She really shouldn't have told about the anomalies but…"

"Jess!" Becker interrupted her. "What _are _you on about? I think you need to start from the beginning." He placed a cup of tea in front of her and she took a deep sip to calm herself.

"Archaeologists discovered it; at first they just said it's the oldest document found to date, from an era before humans existed, or so they thought. They carbon dated it and everything and it threw them right for a loop, especially since it gives modern day dates on the top of the journal entries and written in modern day English. Well tell me that doesn't just scream anomaly to you too? Lester got it for us. It's not just a diary, Becker, it's Sarah's diary! She survived all along… went through an anomaly in the future into the past."

Becker knocked over his tea in his surprise, spilling it all over the table. He let out a quick curse under his breath and moved to clean it up while he composed himself. "She's… Sarah's alive? Jess, I _saw _her die."

"Apparently you didn't. She wrote that there was someone else in that car that did die, she escaped."

Becker's eyes closed. How the…? He sat in silence for a moment as he registered the information. When he felt Jess' hand gently touch his shoulder he opened his eyes again and looked at her. "Then I abandoned her there?"

"No, Becker, stop blaming yourself. You have to. Anyways, I really think you should read it. She talks about you quite a bit and says the same thing. I think you'll like what you read actually. She's happy in the past, she's with Danny."

"Danny? Really?"

Jess nodded, "That's what it says, just, read it, yeah?" She reached into her purse and handed him the tattered book that looked ready to crumble at the slightest touch.

"Wow," Becker commented as he took it. "This thing is ancient. It must be worth… I don't even want to know. I'm not sure I _can _read it without ruining it."

"Doesn't matter, Becker. She didn't write it to be kept in a glass case, she wrote it to be read and I think she'd want _you_ to read it especially."

She stood to go then, started to excuse herself, but Becker immediately put his hand on her wrist. "Jess, don't. I'm – I'm not sure I want to read it alone. Stay?"

Jess nodded immediately, surprised, and they moved to the couch. She let out a yawn and grinned at him. "I guess now that you mention it, it _does _feel like four in the morning after all," she concluded.

He chuckled and surprised them both again by wrapping the blanket on the back of the couch around her shoulders and pulling her so she could rest against his shoulder. "Go to sleep then, Jess and I'll read it to myself quietly."

She obeyed, not because it was an order but because she was suddenly too exhausted not to, and Becker slowly and carefully opened the book:

* * *

_June 1 2009_

_Dear Diary,_

Diary, if you could actually understand, you'd probably be laughing right now. How many times in the past have I tried to start one of these things? But it's always for good reason that I quit, you know. It's always been my dream that one day, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years from now, some archaeologist will uncover you and learn about life in the twenty-first century by reading my words, my story. Then I discovered that my life was drab, dull, and boring and I had nothing to write of interest to them and I didn't want to give them the wrong impression. After all, other people have interesting lives, do they not?

_But now things have changed. With my new job I can definitely say that life is no longer drab, dull, or boring. I'm not actually supposed to tell anybody about my new job, but I figure there are no rules about writing it in my diary. By the time this diary is discovered hundreds of years from now, the job I do will have become non-existent because of natural lack of need, or it won't be a secret anymore anyways. If it is still a real problem and a real secret, then the perfect person to discover it would be an archaeologist, and I hope that you, the future reader, will take this seriously. I wonder if you'll have your own Lester to make you sign an Official Secrets Act._

_See the truth is this: I study dinosaurs._

_If you're an archaeologist, you're probably thinking it's not as interesting as I make it sound. But here's the real kicker: I study LIVE dinosaurs. There I said it. No, I'm not kidding. Live dinosaurs roam the world in the twenty -irst century: mostly in London, England. We're not quite sure why they are so popular here. _

_I used to work at a museum. If you've found my previous diary attempts, you already know that. I'm not going to keep those diaries so carefully though, so they'll probably decompose before you read them._

_The first dinosaur I saw was the goddess Ammut. Now, we here in the twenty-first century didn't actually believe in the goddess Ammut and passed it off as ancient Egypt fairy story or superstition, but then I saw Ammut myself. Ammut is actually a dinosaur called the pristichampus. She'd found her way into the twenty-first century through an anomaly, which is basically a hole in time. _

_I say this all casually, as if it's normal, but I can assure you it's not. These discoveries are shocking, exhilarating, and somewhat overwhelming. I'm only starting to get used to the idea enough to write it down now. If you think I'm crazy, well, sometimes I think that myself. For all I know, this whole thing could be some big joke or a hallucination. If that is the case, then hey, at least it's a hallucination that pays the bills, haha! _

_Sarah Page_

* * *

_June 30__th__ 2009_

_Dear Diary,_

I think I might actually start addressing these entries to "Dear Archaeologist,". It seems a bit silly to be writing to a book, don't you think? I'm sure the book isn't reading this. Of course, I don't know for sure that it will be an archaeologist who finds this book one day, but usually those are the people who discover the ancient documents, right? Maybe you call yourselves something different these days? Well, to whoever finds this, that's who I'm writing to. Oh I do hope this book lasts that long.

_So, as we established, I now have an exciting enough life to write about. There's one small problem though that I'd never factored in before: having an exciting life means I don't have time to write! *sigh*. _

_So much has happened in the past few weeks and I want to write to you all about it, but some things are very raw and emotional for me still, and I need time to reflect. Instead I'm going to dedicate this entry to telling you about the people I work with. That way, Future Archaeologist, you will know who I am referring to when I bring names into my diary._

_First there's Nick Cutter. He's a professor and he was the first team member that I met. He was holding a gun to my face, so that rather frightened me, but turns out he's not so bad after all. Sadly, Nick has passed away recently, and that is one of those things that I'm not ready to write about yet. Nick was the person who hired me, or…rather he ordered his boss to hire me, which was rather amusing. At first I wasn't even sure I was going to have a say in the matter. Nick was the team leader._

_Then there's Jenny Lewis. I really liked Jenny. She's a strong fierce woman who is not afraid to speak her mind… not even to Lester! She and I were becoming close friends. She was made team leader after Nick's death, but then she died, came back to life, and quit. Nick's death hit her very hard because she was in love with him. _

_Next is Abby Maitland. Abby surprised me at first because, well, she seemed a bit like a young girl running around with a bunch of soldiers and I couldn't figure out what she was doing there. Now I know better. Abby's as tough and as good as any of the guys with guns, and she knows far more about animal behavioural patterns etc. than anyone else. She's definitely a valuable member of the team. _

_Connor Temple is a bit of a geek. I've actually become really, really close to him. He's been like a little brother to me, which is why I'm allowed to call him a geek. Connor and I actually have quite a bit in common. For one thing, we both love to learn! New discoveries and pieces of knowledge have us both ready to squeal with joy (though we're getting quite good at the 'silent squeal'). People often roll their eyes at our type, so it's nice to find someone like Connor who can emphasize with me. Connor and I have been working closely together lately on this thing we call "The Artefact." Neither of us have any clue what it is and that's a story for another day._

_Onto Captain Becker. Becker and I have become really good friends. I think it's because we were hired on the same day and we got together to discuss our new coworkers. On our first day of work, I'd been assigned to work with Connor (despite the fact that I wasn't actually on the team at that point yet) and Becker had been working with Nick and Abby. Later that day we compared notes on what we thought. They have no idea we did this! We've been spending a lot of time together and Abby asked if we were dating. We're not. I'd like to make that clear right now. But we are really good friends. Just, you know, apparently not good enough that he'll tell me his first name… Hmmph! I'm working on that, Future Archaeologist, and when I find out, you'll be the first to know. Okay, "Future Archaeologist" is getting a bit long to write out… Can I call you F.A. for short? Of course I can, this is MY diary after all. _

_James Lester is our boss. He goes by either James or Lester. Jenny always calls him James, but I've noticed most the team call him Lester. I'm undecided yet so I usually just leave his name off when I speak to him in person, but for the sake of this diary, I'll call him Lester. At first I thought Lester was rude and mean, but it turns out he's just got a sarcastic sense of humour and you get used to it. I don't think he knows that we all know he likes us. Don't tell him! Anyway, you can hardly blame him for being a little bit grumpy when he's the boss and not a single one of us follow his orders or consult him before doing things… Really as a group of employees go, we're not that great. I wouldn't hire us. But we get along well, so that's a good thing. _

_Last but not least, there's Danny Quinn. Danny's the newest team leader. He's the worst at taking orders. At least tied with me, maybe. Some of the team held a bit of a grudge towards him at first because apparently he arrested Connor and then he broke into the ARC (which is the building where we work). But they hired him anyway. I'm glad they did. Dear, F.A., let me tell you a little secret. I like Danny… a lot. Sometimes Danny makes me feel like a school girl with a crush. He's very loyal to the team, even when the team didn't want him and tried to push him away he was helpful. They weren't sure about him since he didn't work for us at first, but I trusted him right away because he's just got this real honest face. He even said so himself. _

_And that's it for the team, FA, but let me tell you about two other people that seem to pop up at work more often than I feel completely comfortable with. There names are Helen Cutter and Christine Johnson. Christine seems to think she's got some say in how we're run. Lester doesn't like her and assures us she doesn't. I'm not so sure about that, as she seems to get away with a lot, but there's something off about her. I don't like her all the same. Helen Cutter is Nick Cutter's estranged wife. I REALLY don't like her. Helen is BAD BAD News. If you ever see her or here from her, RUN! Now, FA, I know you think the chances of seeing someone that lived so many hundreds of years ago is quite slim, but Helen has been travelling through the time holes for many years now, so it's still possible that she just might show up in your world one day. And if she does, you'll be very thankful for this warning. Just sayin'. _

_ Sarah Page_

* * *

_July 7__th__ 2009_

_Dear FA,_

_Do you ever feel like you're not good enough? Sometimes I really fear that perhaps my job is on the line, though no one has given me any indication that that might be the case. _

_Allow me to explain:_

_When I first got hired by order of the late Professor Nick Cutter, it was to help him out in the research lab. Nick was creating this huge gigantic model of anomalies. Now, I can't say that anyone but himself understood it, but he promised us that one day it would predict when anomalies were going to occur. He needed my help to figure out when anomalies had opened up in the past so that he could plug these into his model and predict a pattern. We figured that wherever there was an ancient mythological beast, such as Ammut or the Yeti, there was an anomaly. My job was to figure out exactly when and where these creatures first appeared in history, and trust me, it was not easy! Nick wanted me to predict these things to the exact date and hour if possible, which of course was not, but I did my best. _

_But as you know, Nick died. You would think that in his line of work, a dinosaur would have gotten to him, but in actuality it was Helen Cutter. Yes, his wife murdered him. Then she blew up the ARC and we lost everything in a fire, including all of Nick's work and his model. This was very, very inconvenient to say the least. And let me tell you something else, his model DID work. It was only a week before his death that he had successfully made his first prediction. _

_FA, can I tell you another secret? One that I can barely examine myself because it's too raw, too hurtful to think about? See, wouldn't it be so easy to blame Helen for everything? She did after all, shoot him in the heart. But let me tell you this: it was my fault too. I was still new at the job. I didn't know who Helen was, or what she looked like. When I crashed into her on the street I thought nothing of it. She helped me pick up my papers and I was concerned about the interest this stranger was showing in the pile of Top Secret notes I was holding. The last thing I wanted was to break the Official Secrets Act within the first couple weeks at my new job. I failed to notice her picking my pocket, even though obviously I was RIGHT THERE. I'm afraid it was with my ID that she got into the ARC in the first place, she and her crew of clones._

_Yes, that's right, I said clones. I did warn you about her, didn't I? She clones people. She cloned Nick, even. But then again, she borrowed the technology from the future and so, FA, maybe this is just normal to you and you think nothing of it. Let me assure you that in my century, people are not cloned and it's somewhat unnerving when you see fifteen of the same man aiming a gun at you. _

_Anyways, without Nick Cutter and his model, there's really no work for me to do now. And so, I've got to make myself useful in other ways in order to keep my job, you know? As I said, no one's actually threatened to take my job away from me, but I'm guessing that's because I'm finding other stuff to do. I've been helping Connor clean up The Artefact, as I mentioned. We don't know what it is actually, but Nick had it and he'd told Connor it was important, so we're trying to figure it out. I'm learning a lot about Connor as we work together. Mainly that he's hopelessly in love with Abby. And just yesterday I found out that they live together! Or they did until recently. Connor's moved out temporarily for Abby's little brother. He says that Abby's brother is the most annoying person on the planet. In the meantime he's living with Lester and don't I just wish I was a fly on the wall for that one. I'm a little flummoxed as to what is keeping Abby and Connor apart actually. I mean Abby obviously loves Connor too and apparently they lived together for two point five years. How is it possible they aren't a couple yet?! Craziness! Of course Connor vehemently denies that Abby loves him back, which is, completely ridiculous! But now I'm off track. See the point is that the Artefact is a project that, while important at the moment, isn't going to take me more than another week to clean off and then… well, I dunno what I'll do at that point for a job. _

_I think maybe I'll convince the team to let me tag along on the dinosaur chases. I'm somewhat nervous about that one, but I don't know how else to keep my job and I'm sure I can learn as I go, right? Here's hoping! _

_Sarah Page_

* * *

_July 15__th__ 2009_

_Dear FA,_

_Well, can I just say this has been one hell of a week? First of all Connor and I discovered that the Artefact can predict anomalies and not thirty seconds later Christine Johnson attacked the ARC, wanting it for herself. Have I mentioned I don't like her? Anyway, she took over the place, dethroned Lester, and Abby, Connor, Danny and I went into hiding at a safe house that didn't feel so safe. We found a book that was in code and it's a good thing we did! Granted it didn't have a whole lot of useful information in it, but it was a big help to me, giving me something to focus on other than Danny Quinn because va va voom does he look good in a tux! Yes, FA, that's right. Us ARC staff like to be in style when we hide out in old abandoned safe houses and we dress to the nines. Okay, we found the dress up clothing in the house and got bored so we played a little dress up while we waited for something, anything, to happen. I feel the need here to confirm that we are, indeed, mature adults. _

_Anyways, something did happen rather quickly. An anomaly opened at the house, which was one hell of an inconvenient coincidence. Do these magnet forces of nature FOLLOW us? Some flightless birds came through, which were clearly ostriches on steroids and rightfully named Terror Birds. We fought them off eventually and sent them back through the anomaly using a variety of weapons such as records, hubcaps, wines and mines. The scariest moment was when I thought Danny was dead due to Connor's poor driving skills. Granted Connor did pretty good considering the situation, accident and all. _

_To make matters worse, the ARC, now run by Christine, found us because the anomaly of course set off the detector over there, and guess who comes and arrests us? Becker! It was all a trick though to fool Ms. Johnson and he taped her making fun of the Minister and Lester got his job back and it all worked out in the end. Becker, if you ever read this, 1) Sorry for doubting you, Pal, and 2) What the hell? Get out of my private diary. _

_ Sarah Page_

* * *

Becker smiled at that as he let out a long yawn himself. He glanced at Jess and found that she was still sound asleep. The ticking clock on the wall told him that it was nearly five thirty now. He didn't want to put the book down, there was much more to read, but the words and letters were starting to swim before his eyes and he found he'd read the same paragraph several times over before he actually knew what it said. Of their own accord, his eyes closed too.


	3. The Diary of Sarah Page Chapter 2

Becker sat puzzled for a moment as he woke up. Why was he on the sofa? And why was he sleeping sitting up? He clearly remembered going to bed the night before. It hit him suddenly and he glanced at his own shoulder, fully expecting to find Jess sleeping there, but she was gone and quickly lied to himself about not being disappointed. Oh who was he kidding?

The sizzling sound of something being fried suddenly made its way into his alertness and he grinned to himself; she hadn't gone far then. He stood and quickly made his way into the kitchen where he found her cooking up a storm.

"Jess?"

She swivelled around, turning her attention to him immediately. "Becker, Morning! Again, I'm so sorry about last night. I really, really didn't realise what time it was when I woke you. Figured I'd better make it up to you by making you breakfast. I hope you like fried eggs and toast? Did you finish the book?"

"Jessica, I already told you to stop apologizing for that. I'm glad you brought it to me. No, I fell asleep before I could finish it and how many people did you _invite_ to breakfast?"

Jess looked puzzled, "No one."

Becker raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Then I hope you're hungry, Jess. I appreciate the eggs and toast, but two of each is enough."

Jess blushed as she glanced at the pile of food on the counter as if just seeing it for the first time. "I might have got carried away. I didn't want you to go hungry."

"So you toasted the full loaf? And how many eggs?"

"The flat that was in your fridge."

"Two dozen?!"

"Two were missing."

"Right, my breakfast from yesterday. Like I said, I hope you're hungry." He knew he should give her a break, but it _was _pretty adorable the way she always got so flustered around him and he loved that he could make her blush so easily. He chuckled to himself and sat down at the small kitchen table while she rambled out an apology.

He'd promised himself every day for, well he didn't know for how long, that he'd ask her out that day. Maybe this would finally be the one. Having lost many friends in the past, getting too close to people was the only thing that really scared him nowadays, but ever since the moment Jess had shown up several years ago to one of his stakeouts with Chinese food in hand, he'd realised he already _was _that close with her and there was nothing he could do about it. Since convergence they'd just become closer even and he wasn't quite sure what was holding him back.

He shook his head quickly to clear his thoughts. "Jess, you said yesterday that Sarah would have especially wanted me to read that journal."

"And I meant it," Jess said, turning away from him to scoop the last couple of eggs on to the plate.

"Funny then how the last bit I remember reading before falling asleep was a direct order for me to stop reading it."

Jess giggled, "She didn't mean it though. Keep reading and you'll see." She handed him a plate with two eggs upon two pieces of toast. Then she put of each on a plate for herself and sat opposite from him. She started to dig into her breakfast until she realised that he was watching her, one eyebrow raised, and that he hadn't yet started eating.

"I-I," she hastily put the fork down again. "Sorry Becker! I didn't mean to presume that I was invited to breakfast, but you did tell me to stay last night and…"

"Jess! Stop! Of course you're invited! You're welcome to eat breakfast here anytime you like, especially if you're going to cook for me. I was just wondering though…"

"Yes?" she asked, looking a bit relieved.

"Well, I figured it'd be easier for you to put the other nineteen eggs on your plate all at once so you didn't have to keep jumping up and down from the table. Or perhaps that's part of the exercise program that keeps you looking so fit when you eat that much?"

Her face was about the colour of a tomato by now and she playfully broke a piece off from the corner of her toast and winged it at him. Becker winked at her as he caught it and popped it into his mouth and Jess tried not to stare too hard as it suddenly hit her that he'd both called her fit and invited her to breakfast whenever she wanted.

"So next time I'll just make three eggs," she grinned widely at him.

"Is that an acceptance of my invitation?"

"Might be."

Becker nodded and then finally began shovelling down the food while it was still hot. He finished before Jess did and smiled at her. "You're a good cook, Jessica."

"Eggs and toast is hardly rocket science."

"Still, it was delicious. I actually wouldn't mind one more."

She smirked at him, amused. "I'm not so sure there's enough."

* * *

Despite not having wanted to put down Sarah's book the night before, it was noon before he picked it up again. It was the weekend and his day off, so he could just hope there's be no anomaly alerts. After years of nightmares about Sarah, he felt so emotionally connected to her that he didn't want to read the book on his own. He especially worried that he'd never make it through the parts after he'd last seen her without Jess at his side, so when she'd insisted on going home to change out of the outfit she'd been wearing since the day before, he made her promise to come back and he waited for her return to open the book again.

Jess looked a little bit lost as she sat down beside him on the couch again, and he understood that she wasn't quite sure what was expected of her. He gave her an encouraging smile. "Thanks, Jess, for coming back here I mean."

She nodded, "Sure, of course I came back."

To her delight, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before turning his attention to the page in front of him.

* * *

_August 21__st__ 2009_

_Dear FA, _

_I've got some bad news and you might want to be sitting down for this one, FA, because it concerns you directly. Are you sitting? *waits patiently* Okay, so here's the thing, and I'm not sure how to tell you this, but in the end it probably makes no difference but... you might not actually exist. _

_See, Connor, Abby, Danny, Becker and Abby's horridly bratty brother Jack went to the future through an anomaly and they said that the world's been destroyed by future predators and they figure all the humans are dead. Now that's a pleasant thought. *shudders*. So, FA, that's really bad news for you, don't you think? To be honest, I'm more than a little bit depressed about this and contemplated giving up my journal once and for all, but then I decided that, hey, in the off chance that you _DO _exist, maybe you'd like some reading material to keep you entertained. After all, reading is a nice quiet activity that you can do without being overheard by future predators, unlike, say, piano playing for example. _

_In case you find this immediately after the predators take over, here's some information you might find helpful: they SEE SOUND. So you must now be quiet for the remainder of your life. Oh, and they have hyper sensitive hearing so even your heartbeat will attract them. Your best bet, actually, would be to find an anomaly and escape through it to any time in the past. Seriously, you're better off with dinosaurs then future predators. The anomalies are big balls of fragmented light that look a bit like glass. They're magnetic too. I've taped a small piece of metal to the bottom of this page so you can use it to test the magnetism of the light ball. I wish you good luck. _

_ Anyways, since I haven't given up this journal completely, let me tell you about something that happened the other day, before I discovered that you might not exist. This story isn't completely work related, but it's my personal journal and just because work stuff has taken over it, doesn't mean it's completely all I do now. So, the other day Becker and I are at the pub discussing our coworkers (We like to do this every now and then) when suddenly who should walk in but… Danny Quinn. Do you have any idea how mortified I was? I mean, it looked like I was on a date (it wasn't) with Becker! Now, Danny and I have been getting a bit closer at work lately and it just so happens that it was only hours after a rather crazy anomaly in which a knight in shining armour came through after a dragon (though Abby and Connor deny it's a dragon but whatever, it looked like one to me.) Anyway, the knight kidnapped me, but don't worry I'm okay, talked my way out of it with some help from the rest of the team, and then we walked the knight (and his horse) back to the anomaly and Danny *swoon* kept his arm around me the full time. I swear he likes me as much as I like him, so this looked really bad that I'd be on a date (it wasn't) with Becker. Danny turned a bit red when he saw us and he looked upset, so that was a good sign he liked me too, don't you think? Becker, (he and Connor are the only ones that know how I feel about Danny) quickly excused himself saying he was exhausted and would Danny mind keeping me company since he was here? He left before Danny could answer and I was horrified thinking that maybe Danny didn't want to, but he did. We ended up having a great time, after I convinced him that the Becker thing was not a date (and really, would I date someone I'm not even on a first name basis with? I pointed that out to Danny and he was shocked because he had assumed Becker WAS his first name. We've decided to work together and find out what it is now. Maybe Connor will help us). Anyway, after the explaining and joking about Becker's name was out of the way, Danny asks me if, since it wasn't a date with Becker, I would consider this a date with him. *Insert silent girly-squeal here* Obviously I said yes and we had a great time dancing (watching Danny dance is HILARIOUS) and then we went for cheesecake at a little place Danny knew and strolled through the city. It was lovely and he held my hand and we agreed to a second date next week._

Sarah Page

* * *

Becker scanned through the entry with a smile. He remembered that night quite clearly and told Jess so. She smiled back at him, scanning over it quickly to see which entry he had just read and then teased him. "By the way, what _is _your first name?"

Becker shook his head, "You'll never know." But then Sarah's words came back to him, the bit about never dating someone she wasn't on a first name basis with and he changed his mind in case Jess felt the same. "It's Hilary, but don't tell."

Jess looked at him in surprise at his quick compliance, "Is it really?"

"Now you don't believe me?"

"I've known you four years and you never told me before, seems odd you'd tell me now just like that. Forgive me if I think you're lying."

Becker chuckled, "I'm telling the truth, Jess. And before you accuse me of not telling you before, may I point out that you've never actually asked."

"I did."

"When?"

"I didn't ask _you,_ I asked Connor. He said that no one knew and no one ever would and you were all hush-hush about the topic."

Becker laughed and made her swear secrecy before turning his attention once again to the book.

* * *

_November 29__th__ 2009_

_Dear FA, _

_The likelihood of you existing seems to grow slimmer by the day, I'm mostly writing this to keep myself sane now. I'm not quite ready to write about the events that led up to this at the moment, but I'm now living alone in the future. If I sound casual about it, I don't feel it. And to think in my last entry I was worried about things like dating Danny. The second date never happened, and the chance of it ever happening seem quite slim at the moment. _

_ Of course I'm not completely alone, I've got those future predators to keep me company and the maggots and flying ants, *shudder*. I really hate insects, and I'm not overly fond of the predators either. Stupid things always wanna eat me. _

_I've been here for about three weeks and as far as I can tell it's late November back in present day London, but who knows what the date here is. I can't make any sounds and my only chance for survival is to stay underground and scavenge for food and water. There are underground shelters here that have stores of them, but they are all old, dusty and abandoned and I wonder when the last time people lived in them were. How long has everyone been dead for? Was that boy in the car the last human? I'll tell you about him when I feel I can. _

_I feel numb, I haven't even been able to cry, but I'm sure that's a good thing as I don't want those predators to overhear with their eyes. How much longer will I be alive? _

_FA, I write to you still in hopes that one day humans will live here again and that you will find this, because at the moment, Hope is all I have left and trust me, it's fading fast. _

_Sarah Page_

* * *

Becker stopped reading, unable to go any further. Guilt overcame him. How could he have ever left her? Why hadn't he double-checked? He knew he was shaking from the way the book wobbled in his hand and he did his best to choke down the tears that were threatening to well up. He'd asked her to stay, but he sure didn't want to cry in front of Jess. Her hand came to rest on his arm and he glanced at her, wondering if it was that obvious that he was upset. The concern in her face told him that it was and it was enough for him to break down.

"I'm sorry, Jess, I just, I…" he couldn't say anything else as grief and guilt clouded his thoughts.

Jess shushed him gently. "Keep reading, Becker. She didn't want you to feel like this, you'll see."

"I can't, Jess. It's too much," he told her honestly.

Jess nodded and took the book from him, "Then I'll read to you, because you need to hear the rest."

He didn't respond in one form or another, though internally he was grateful. Her voice shook a bit, nervous about his reaction, but it grew stronger when she saw that he was listening.

* * *

_January 1__st__ 2010_

Dear FA,

You'd think I'd be bored enough in a place like this to write more often, but the truth is that every moment is about survival, finding food, and going from one shelter to another. Besides, nothing has really changed so there's nothing new to write about.

_ If I've figured it out properly, it's a new year, and a new decade back in London. I wonder what's going on over there. I worry about Becker. I think that finally I can tell you how I wound up here. See, Helen Cutter returned, the crazy lady that killed her husband Nick if you'll remember. She was up to no good because, well, she never is. Danny stole her diary from her and gave it to me to read, but before I really got a chance to sit down with it, Helen kidnapped Christine and took her through an anomaly. We had to follow her, but there were two anomalies that led to the same place and we thought she might come out through the other. Of course said place is here in the miserable future. Well, Danny took Abby and Connor and they headed through one, Becker and I went to the other one but it was closed by the time we got there. Danny, Abby, and Connor never returned. We have no idea what happened to them. We kept going through and trying to find them, but we never could. It is my dream, FA, to someday find them here again, but I doubt they are here at all. See, between rescue missions, I sat down with that diary and found out that Helen had planned to go to the future, but then take another anomaly to the past where she would kill the first humans before they could evolve, wiping us all out. Now, they must have gone after her, they must have made it through that past anomaly because, quite frankly, I'm still here. I exist. So that's the good news. It seems that they managed to thwart her plans. I'm not sure _YOU _exist, but I do. _

_Anyway, last time we went through I got trapped here due to some horrific circumstances in which a young teenage boy was killed savagely by a predator. I'm sure Becker and his men thought it was me as I managed to hide and then they were gone. I know that they'd never have left me here if they thought I was alive. It was my fault the boy died, I yelled out when I shouldn't have. I've spent so much time wallowing in my grief for him, but I've come to realise that perhaps it was better for him. I can only wish I'd died too rather than having to live like I do now. Sometimes I go so mad here that I think I should just call out again, that I should surrender myself to the predators and it would be a fitting fate after what I have done to the boy, not to mention a relief to escape the pain and loneliness of this present future. However my survival instincts kick in and I cannot bring myself to make so much as a peep. _

_ It's funny, but I don't feel sorry for myself living here. You'd think I'd after everything that's happened, I would deserve at least the right to that emotion, but how can I? How can I pity myself, when I can imagine the suffering that everyone else has been going through: all the people who lived here when the predators attacked. _

_ Perhaps I am the last human alive. "The Last Human": what a legacy! It sounds like the sort of title that legends are made of, but I could never be a legend because legends require people to pass them on. _

_The person I hurt for the most now is Becker. He was so hard on himself after Abby, Danny, and Connor disappeared. He blamed himself and became cold and depressed. He became distant from everyone but me, saying I was the only one who could ever really understand his loss. We both were equally grieved but in different ways. Becker lost three wonderful friends, and adds to his grief the fact that he thought he was to blame. I added to my grief the fact that I have lost the man I loved: Danny. I wish we'd had more time together…_

_ And now I worry so about Becker because I know that somewhere, somewhen, he is also grieving the loss of me. I wish I could tell him somehow that I am okay but, my dear FA, I'm not sure that I am. _

_Sarah Page_

* * *

"See?" Jess pointed out. "She doesn't want you to feel guilty, Becker."

He nodded, unable to say anything else and Jess didn't persue the matter as she continued reading.

* * *

_June 29__th__ 2010 _

_Dear FA,_

_A glimmer of hope appears, FA with the realisation that there might be humans living yet in this world, though I can imagine that they wish they weren't. It becomes my goal now to find them and to survive with them. Dear FA, I've become quite good at this survival game, but I'm so lonely. I haven't seen another human since the boy in the car, and the predators really aren't that great for company. _

_You, on the other hand, are fantabulous. I know that makes me sound crazy as it is still doubtful that you exist, but you do wonders in keeping me sane, if I am. The discovery that humans are still living here gives me hope that one day we will prevail and overcome and that somehow you might still read this. _

_Now, you might wonder, FA, how I know there are other humans around when I haven't seen them. Well let me just tell you that for ages I moved from shelter to shelter looking for food and stores so that I could survive. Some shelters are empty and I can sleep in them before I have to look for more. Others have tins of non-perishable food and often there are signs of a quick escape in these, as though the people did not have time to take the food with them. Still there was never any indication as to how long that food had been sitting there. Yes there were expiration dates, most boarding on the lines of 2088-2089, but who knows when the last human had left the area. Perhaps there was a final struggle around those years but then they've all sat there for hundreds of years since. _

_But finally, finally, I came across a shelter like this with signs of Perishable food! Fruit! I don't know where it came from, and yes it was starting to rot, but starting only. I couldn't have eaten it, but what hope and energy it gave to my heart. Humans were here RECENTLY! It's not the only time I've found such things now. Little signs, small things that let me know that the shelters were abandoned only days ago. Of course if there are humans around, they must keep as silent as I. I cannot call out to them for fear of attracting the predators, which makes finding them ever so much harder, but at least I now have a goal, something I wish to accomplish, and it keeps me feeling alive and sane. One day I'll find them, FA. I have to. _

_Sincerely, Sarah Page_

* * *

By this time, Becker had collected himself again and he smiled at Jess, "At least that sounds a little more positive. I can't believe how strong she was living there for so long. I'd have shot myself I'm sure."

"Don't say that, Becker."

"Why not? It's true."

"I still don't want to hear it. You're right, though, she was strong."

"Did she ever find the humans?"

"No," Jess shook her head, "She found Danny first. Should I continue?"

Becker shook his head. "No, not now. Later Jess. I can't believe how hungry listening has made me and it seems as good a place as any to stop. Should we get something to eat?"

"There's loads of leftover eggs," Jess offered with a teasing smile.

He laughed, "Go for it, but three eggs a day is enough for me. Why don't I take you someplace nice for dinner?"

He held his breath then, suddenly realising how easily that could be misinterpreted as him asking her for a date and then he realising that he hoped she _would _misinterpret it.

Jess looked a bit shocked for a moment and then a smile spread across her face. "Yes," she giggled, "but after waiting four years for you to ask me that, it'd better be your treat."

* * *

It wasn't until Becker dropped Jess off at her flat for the night that he dared to tease her on the comment, "So… you've been waiting four years for that, eh?"

Jess blushed, which was nothing new, in fact he'd have been concerned if she hadn't. "Well, you know, I mean, that's how long I've known you, not that I was hoping you'd ask since the day I met you but it's just that you never have in all that time."

Becker chuckled, "You know what, Jessica, I don't think I believe you. I think you meant it exactly how it sounded."

She started to ramble out a protest, but Becker suddenly summoned up some courage from somewhere and shut her up by gently brushing his lips over hers. "Goodnight, Jess."

She squeaked out a response that didn't sound like any English words that Becker knew and he grinned at her as he walked back to the car. "And don't forget, Jess," he called out, "I'll pick you up nice and early tomorrow so we can finish reading that book."


	4. The Diary of Sarah Page Chapter 3 (FIN)

Becker was torn. He'd woken up in the middle of the night with a dream about Sarah again, which was not uncommon. The dreams used to leave him in a cold sweat and unable to fall back asleep, but over the past year that had changed and he had made peace with them. This time it just left him wanting to know what had happened to her. He glanced at the diary on his night table, undecided whether it was a good idea to get back into reading it now or if he should wait for Jess.

He really felt he had gotten through most of the hard parts of her journal and he thought he could probably handle it, but he knew that Jess rather enjoyed the fact that he wanted to read it with her. She'd told him over supper that it made her feel special. He sighed and reached for the book, running his hand gently over the cover.

"I miss you, Sarah," he said aloud before drifting off back to sleep.

* * *

"So, are you ready for the rest?" Jess asked as she retook her spot at Becker's side. He nodded and she asked, "Did you want me to read it to you again, or are you okay reading it yourself now?"

"I'm fine reading it myself, Jess, but if you want to read it out loud I wouldn't mind. I like to hear your voice."

Jess bit down on her lip, but it didn't help her keep her pleasure hidden at the compliment. "I can do that," she agreed, taking the book from his hands.

"Good," Becker grinned, nervously slipping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her until she was cuddled against his side. She rewarded him with a huge grin before she began.

* * *

_March 3__rd__ 2011_

_ Dear FA,_

I know, I know, I rarely write in here these days, but the thing is, not much has changed. I'm still stuck in the future. I still find signs now and then of other humans living here, but I still haven't seen a soul, other than the stinkin' creatures of course. You know, I used to be completely terrified of insects, but after living with them for so long, they aren't that bad. Okay, granted, they try to eat me, but compared to the predators and the giant maggots, trust me, giant flying ants are the least of my worries. Anyways, they've been a useful distraction to the predators and henceforth unwittingly saved my life on more than one occasion when I was above ground searching for a new shelter.

_ Often I wonder, who BUILT these shelters? I mean, after the predators first attacked, when did people get the chance to build them? Did not the sound of hammering attract every predator in the area? Or were they built beforehand for some other disaster and, if so, what? What happened here? I search for clues in each shelter: notes, photographs, letters… So far I have not come up with anything. I suppose people are too busy trying to survive to document their lives. I know how they feel and while I'm determined to keep this journal, I certainly haven't been on top of updating it much lately. Every sense must stay focused on staying alive at all times. Here's hoping that next time I sit down to write to you, FA, I've rejoined other humans. *fingers crossed*. Oh, maybe you don't do that in your time though, so in case you are confused, we cross our fingers for good luck. Just a silly little superstition. _

_Take care,_

_Sarah Page_

* * *

_November 4__th__ 2012 _

_Dear FA,  
Wow, to think when I wrote my last entry, I was hoping to start writing again more often. It's been what, a year and a half? I guess I don't have to worry about running out of paper any time soon with the rate that I write, though I am getting a bit close to the end of this book. FA, it's weird, but you get used to living this way. I've been on my own for three years now and while I used to be so overwhelmingly lonely, now I barely remember what it's like to have human companionship and the feeling has dimmed. That being said, I haven't stopped searching for the others. Maybe they are dead by now. It's been awhile since I've last stumbled across a "fresh" shelter. Months I think. I haven't given up hope completely, but I don't have enough hope left to be disappointed anymore when each new shelter turns out to be people-free. It's been three years, FA, and I wonder if Abby, Connor or Danny ever made it home. I wonder who is working at the ARC now and what happened to my little flat. The dates I write at the top of these entries aren't necessarily right. I've long ago lost track of the days and, while I think I'm within a month or so, there is no way I can be one hundred percent sure. FA I think that_

* * *

Jess stopped there and Becker glanced down at the page to see what she wasn't reading. To his surprise, there was nothing else written.

"What? What does she think? Why'd she stop writing?!"

Jess giggled a bit and Becker frowned at her. "It's not funny, Jess."

"It is, Becker. Listen to yourself. You're panicking. I already told you she ended up in the past with Danny and I daresay you're worried a predator got her. In fact, you look ready to go shoot one."

Becker blushed a bit as he settled back down. "You're right, Jess. You _had _already told me, but it's Sarah we're talking about here and I hate hearing her say stuff like this, that she was out of hope."

"Sorry," Jess apologized, "for laughing."

He pushed his forehead against her ear, composing himself further. "It's fine, Jess, but I do want to know what happened. Keep reading."

Jess turned the page and Becker was pleased to see that more of Sarah's handwriting followed.

* * *

_December 25__th__ 2012_

_ Dear FA,_

Merry Christmas, if I have the date right. I'd like to apologize to you for that last entry. I got interrupted and fortunately NOT by a future predator. Now, I know I should just continue here and tell you what I was going to say, but honestly I can't remember. Whatever it was, I'm sure it is no longer important or relevant in any way, shape, or form.

_But I should tell you this. While I was writing to you, suddenly my pen started moving on its own accord, pulling itself out of my hand. Would you believe, dear FA, that an anomaly had opened right beside me? I literally couldn't believe my eyes and I was, in fact, in such a state of disbelief that my mind refused to process that it was there at all for several long minutes. When I finally realised what had happened I darted through as fast as possible, giving no thought as to whether or not it would take me home or not. It didn't matter where it went because anywhere was better than here._

_ And now, FA, I am in the distant past which means that you most definitely exist again! Great news, yeah?! I thought you might appreciate such wonderful tidings on Christmas Day, though I doubt it'll be Christmas when you read this too. Of course, FA, now that I am in the past, you could very well be someone from the present. Do I dare to hope, FA, that you are someone from the ARC itself? Becker, if you ever read this, nothing that has happened to me was your fault. I also want you to know that I am okay and happy, and no longer alone. _

_When I first ran through that anomaly I found myself crashing headfirst into someone coming through from the other direction. I fell to the ground, disorientated and confused and it took me a moment to realise that I was suddenly safe in the arms of Danny Quinn himself. Yes, that's right; we have found each other once again. Danny told me that he made it home once, and that Connor and Abby had made it back safe too. I felt so light and carefree after learning that, as though a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. His brother, Ethan, he told me, had come through as well and had been killed by a creature. _

_We live here now, Danny and I, in a beautiful tree house that he had made, and which I improved upon greatly but tidying it up a bit and decorating it with flowers. The most delicious fruit grows in the area, some even upon the vines of the tree we live in and we can reach it from our window. I do wish you could try it, FA. There's a stream nearby with plenty of fish. I'm not sure what type of fish it is, definitely prehistoric something or other, but it's edible and tasty. There're dinosaurs here, but most are herbivores and haven't bothered us. Danny's fashioned himself a few weapons that work on the odd carnivorous one, and so far they are all small enough that we have had no real issues with them. Abby, if you're reading this, you'll love to know that we've even taken in one as a pet, a curious little herbivore that wouldn't leave us alone. Neither of us knows what type he is, but he's a bit demanding and bossy so we've taken to calling him Lester. _

_Anyway, in all the excitement, I'm afraid I lost my pen in that anomaly, and I thought I wouldn't be able to update you anymore, FA, but this morning Danny surprised me with some homemade ink and a quill that he had fashioned for me as a Christmas present. Wasn't that sweet of him? Only now I feel a bit badly since I didn't give him a gift. He says that after so long alone, my presence is present enough. Tell me that's not the corniest thing you've ever heard, FA. _

_Sarah Page_

* * *

Becker raised an eyebrow at Jess, "Has, erm, has Lester read this?"

Jess giggled, "Yes, he said that if he wasn't so happy to hear she was okay, he'd be right offended. He also said that his kids have a new puppy that they're having trouble training because it's so disobedient and he's half a mind to call it Sarah."

"What about Danny?"

"Girl dog."

"Ah, keep reading."

* * *

_January 10__th__ 2013_

_ Dear FA, _

_One of the coolest things about living in the past is that laws haven't been invented yet. Danny and I can do whatever we want, however we want, and not have to worry about what is and isn't allowed or what the rest of society thinks about us. _

_ Now before you start worrying about what the hell Danny and I have been up to, I promise you that we're not getting into too much trouble… we can't! ;) No actually, we do have some great news though: We got married! _

_Now, I know there's no one here to MARRY us per se, but that falls into the whole little spew I gave at the start of this entry. Danny and I figure that if we're the only humans on earth, we can make our own laws and determine what needs to be done to be legally married or not. So… in the Jurassic or Cretaceous or Permian or whenever the hell we are (we don't actually know ourselves) you don't need someone to marry you._

In fact, let me explain to you how marriage ceremonies work these days. First, you have to carve your initials together on a rock and throw it into a river. Then you exchange hand-carved wooden rings (good thing Danny can carve!) and kiss in front of a reptilian witness named Lester. Dear FA, if you do not have a reptilian witness named Lester, we've created a clause in the marital laws that state you can rename any reptile for a period of up to one hour free of charge.

_ Sarah Quinn_

* * *

_February 25__th__ 2013 _

_Dear FA,_

I have a confession to make: an anomaly opened today and we didn't go through. We both knew that we should, that we should be trying to get home, but we also both recognized the reluctance in each other's eyes. It was Danny who first openly suggested that we ignore it. Chances are it doesn't go home anyways. We can still see the flickering light on the horizon as we sit here, warm and safe in our tree house. FA, you might be wondering now why we don't just poke our heads through at least, see if it goes home and if not, stay here. The truth is, we don't want to know. If it goes to 2013 then we have a much tougher decision to make because while we belong there, THIS is home now. Danny and I are happy here together. We don't have to worry about society, time frames, deadlines, or anything else. We spend every waking moment enjoying one another's company and relaxing in the fresh air. We never have to be anywhere at a certain time and we report only to ourselves. The fruit is delicious and the fish is fresh and Danny rather enjoys catching it. Not to mention, the air is brilliant. We've grown accustomed to it and I'm not sure that my lungs would handle the pollution even in the countryside of modern-day England anymore.

_And yet, we both feel guilty. We wonder if we are not abandoning our friends by staying. It's probably all moot anyways: if the anomaly there opened to 2013, we would have seen it lock by now as our friends at the ARC would surely have arrived hours ago, but by not going through, by not trying when it first opened, we feel that the decision is made, not just for this anomaly but for any that open in the future… if you can call it the future when you're living in the past. _

_ Sarah Quinn_

* * *

"I wish she didn't feel guilty about that," Becker said immediately. "I'm thrilled she's happy. She made the right decision for herself and Danny, obviously it was right if they didn't want to return."

"Yeah," Jess smirked, "And I wonder how she'd feel about you always feeling guilty about her."

"Touché," Becker smiled, but the point was proven as he almost literally felt the huge weight lift from his shoulders.

* * *

_ August 16__th__ 2017_

_ Dear FA,_

_Wow, it's been over four years since I've written. I guess I've been more than a little bit busy lately. We haven't gone anywhere, Danny and I, though anomalies open and close on occasion. We no longer feel guilty about it. This is home not only for us, but also for our two young daughters, and we would not uproot them for the world. It is such a joy to watch them play in the sunshine and romp around on the wooden tree house floor with Lester, knowing that they will never have to deal with peer pressure, job stress etc, unless they someday choose to look for London on their own, and we DO tell them stories about London, but for now they giggle and believe them to be naught but fairy tales. Their favourite "character" is ConnorTemple, though our own little Connor Quinn wonders why we made the Connor of our stories be a "boy", when it's clearly a girl's name._

_ Our Connor is nearly four years old already, and we sometimes can't believe how fast she's growing up. And even her younger sister Jenab is two and a half. We wonder if one day they might really desire to travel the anomalies themselves. After all, while this place is wonderful, there also isn't anyone here for them to marry when they are grown. Danny has written a new rule for this era, by the way. Children are not to leave home in search of boys until they are at least 35-years-old. It's the law ;) We'll see how that goes. That, however, is a long way off and as long as they are happy here, Danny and I are too. If Connor and Jenab decide one day to search for London, we will then decide if we wish to go with them, or to stay here. While neither of us can picture ourselves without them at this moment, we both know that we will be old by then, and we aren't sure that travelling the anomalies would be a good idea and we know that more than likely, we will have to let them go. The thought already breaks our hearts and we don't even know if they will leave us or opt to stay. _

_ But even if we found our way back to 2017 now, we cannot guarantee that our children will not one day move far away, and we believe that here is the best place for them to be raised. We are sure in this decision. Besides, there is no way to tell where the anomalies may lead and if they would go to modern day England if we stepped through, and so, FA, I do not want you to think that we are regretting our decision because of this entry. This was just me thinking on paper about the unknown future, which I was bound to do whether we were here or anywhere else. For now I delight in watching the children grow up. As I write this, I can hear their giggling as Danny carts them around on his shoulders. _

_Sarah Quinn_

* * *

_May 5__th__ 2022 _

_Dear FA,  
I'm afraid that this will be my last entry, mainly due to the fact that I have no more paper after this page. I know I rarely update anymore, so it does seem weird to think that I'm going to miss you, FA, especially since I don't know you, but I really will. Danny is going to wrap this diary in a sandwich bag that he's had since millions of years from now, and then build a box to keep it cool in hopes that we can preserve this diary until you, FA, can find it. I know, dear FA, that the chances are slim still, but I do so love to dream and I am thankful to have a supportive husband who encourages me to do so and doesn't laugh at me for it. Dear FA, how could I have been so lucky that the only man on earth is the one I loved when there were billions more? Ours is the love story of many millennia. _

_Connor is now eight-years-old and Jenab just turned seven the other day, such a curious age. They are both so full of questions. Connor always wants to hear about our childhoods. She asks about our parents and our friends at the ARC. Jenab's questions usually focus more on the "Magic Anonaminallies" (she can't pronounce 'anomaly' no matter how hard she tries!) that sometimes open and she also seems fascinated by our stories of modern technology. If only one of our girls decide to travel the anomalies one day, my bet would be upon Jenab. She longs for adventure, that girl does. During the days, Connor prefers to stay home and help her mama cook and clean while she listens to stories, but Jenab gets bored easily and is much happier when Danny takes her fishing. She caught two on her own the other day and she was so proud! Danny and I were also proud of her and I overheard Connor tell her they were the best fish she'd ever tried, but then she also added on, "Don't tell Dad!" _

_FA, I don't want to bore you by bragging about my girls, but I do wish you could hear Connor sing! She's amazing! I've been teaching both girls lately to read and write and do arithmetic, just as they'd learn in school. It seems pointless at times, but these are skills they might need if they ever do stumble into another human era and they seem to love their lessons. Danny teaches them to fight, and he tries to teach me as well. Jenab enjoys these lessons as well, but Connor hates them. She asks me if she can skip the fighting lessons, but I think it's important for her to learn in case she ever has to defend herself or her younger sister (who I'm sure will be the one to get them both into trouble one day!)_

_ Last week an anomaly opened again and both girls begged us to go through. They didn't want to stay on the other side, they just wanted a quick peek. It's the first time they've asked and it surprises me really that this wasn't sooner in coming. We told them no and, as usual, forbid them both from leaving the tree house until it closed again a few hours later. Jenab protested more than Connor. Danny and I discussed it after they were asleep and decided that one day we should perhaps let them, if Danny takes a peek first to make sure it's safe on the other side. Perhaps it will satisfy their curiosity for a time, but the fact that THIS anomaly is now closed and we don't know when another will open makes this mother's heart beat a little bit easier for the time being. _

_Well, FA, I guess I'm running out of space here, so I say goodbye and wish you as much happiness in your life as I have in mine. Oh, and Danny says hi._

_ Yours truly,  
Sarah Quinn_

* * *

Jess closed the book with a sigh. "It's so romantic, really."

Becker nodded. He wasn't really the romance type, but it was hard not to be when it was his dear friends they were talking about.

"She really is happy," he said. "Did you notice, it was three years she was in the future for? That's exactly when the nightmares stopped being nightmares."

Jess turned to him questioningly. "What nightmares?"

He blushed and then told her about the dreams he'd suffered through for years.

"Becker, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Yeah, Jess, big tough soldier boy still has nightmares? How would people feel about trusting me with their lives if they thought I was weak?"

"Bad dreams don't make you weak, Becker, they make you humans. You're allowed to have emotions, you know."

"Maybe," he admitted softly, "But only around you."

Jess grinned and then turned serious, looking him deep in the eyes. "Becker, she wished FA happiness. Do you think you could ever be as happy as Sarah was?"

Becker felt himself lost in her gaze as he nodded, "Yeah, Jess. I'm starting to think maybe I could be."

Like the evening before, he allowed himself to kiss her, but this time he didn't pull away quite as fast. The kiss was soft and sweet and when they did finally break apart he just grinned at her. She grinned back. The sat in silence for a bit, until Jess finally broke it. "What you thinking about now?"

He laughed, "Just wondering if you could use those computer skills of yours to search for a Connor or Jenab Quinn."

Jess chuckled as she jumped up from the sofa and reached for his hand, her eyes sparkling. "Let's get on it then," she said as she pulled him towards the door.

**THE END**


End file.
